Deep Fears
by TimrousBeastie
Summary: Fears Rose has had since childhood suddenly resurface. As The Doctor and Rose are plummeted into another adventure, her fears are drawn out into harsh reality... 10Rose COMPLETE!
1. Unexpected Occurences

**A/N: This was my first fic… I wrote it sitting in a freezing, pitch black tent at 11pm in Wales… so please… take that into account :P**

**DISCLAIMER: Sadly I don't own anything… saddest of all; I don't own David Tennant… If it were not so, I would most definitely have married him by now**

**Chapter 1**

"So, where to?" The Doctor's voice echoed throughout the TARDIS control room. For once, Rose couldn't think. They'd been everywhere; to the moon of Harlomly; the centre of Mars; the Volcanoes of Qoonaim; Raxacoricofallapatorius… where else could they go?

"Uh… can't we just… relax? Go somewhere where we're not running for our lives?"

The Doctor's smile faded slightly.

"You're not… you're not getting bored of this are you?" The last thing he wanted was to let Rose go – he couldn't work out his feelings towards her. He'd never experienced such strong emotions before. He couldn't put words into what he felt for her.

Many-a-time he'd been lying in his bed, asking the TARDIS, his oldest friend, what was happening to him – and she'd always have the same answer: "You're in love…" But he refused to accept it.

"No. NO!" Rose jumped up from where she'd been sitting, snapping the Doctor out of his trance. "I love it so much – this is the best life anyone could wish to have! It's just… I want to, I dunno, relax… Y'know?"

The Doctor thought for a moment, "You mean… like… not do anything? Like… just watching a film?"

Rose shrugged, "Yeah, I guess… except the TARDIS doesn't really cater for that." She grinned.

The Doctor looked at her, astounded.

"How can you say that? The TARDIS caters for everything!" He said, and grabbed Rose's hand, pulling her down one of the TARDIS' many corridors.

This wasn't what Rose had intended. She'd wanted some alone time… just away from the Doctor.

The truth was, she didn't know if she could trust herself around him anymore. At first it had started out as a crush – like any other guy. Rose knew how to deal with crushes… But then she'd realised it was developing slowly and gradually. She had no idea how or why, but she had developed feelings for the Doctor, which ran deeper than anything she'd felt for anyone else – even Mickey. She didn't know what to do.

There wasn't a moment when she wasn't thinking of him. But in her heart she knew that he didn't return her feelings; and so she refrained from ever acting on her instincts. She just needed some space to clear her head and figure out what to do… Sitting in a darkened room in close proximity to the Doctor wasn't exactly going to help her control these feeling.

She followed him half-heartedly, as he led her into a smallish room. It was dark and cosy – with a few sofas and armchairs scattered around; all facing a large screen on the back wall. Rose laughed despite herself – a home-cinema! Well, technically a TARDIS-cinema.

The Doctor walked over to a hidden cabinet in the corner and opened the door. Rows upon rows of what seemed like laminated sheets were all lined up on the shelves. The Doctor muttered to himself as he flicked though a few. "Ah. Here we are – Earth movies." He motioned at Rose to come over, "Here – choose one"  
Rose raised an eyebrow at him, "there's MILLIONS!"  
"Well," said, the Doctor, undaunted, "What kind of thing do you like? There's Alien, Gone With The Wind, Casablanca, Titanic, War Of The Worlds:- "   
"Actually," said Rose, interrupting, "I never did see Titanic."  
"But that's an Earth classic! You have to see Titanic! It's like going through life without ever wearing a hula skirt!" The Doctor gaped at her.

"You've worn a hula skirt?" Rose was slightly disturbed by the image, but, as she thought about it, it didn't seem too bad…Naughty Rose! Bad Thoughts!

"You'd be surprised what I've worn." Hopefully not a lot, at times… Bad bad Rose! Not Good thoughts! "Well, we have to see that then."

He slid the laminated sheet out and ambled over to a small thin slit and slid it in. The lights immediately dimmed, and the starting music began to place as the title page rolled onto screen. The Doctor took Rose's hand - Oh God! - and pulled her to the nearest sofa. They both fell on it, and got comfortable – Rose tucking her feet under her and slightly resting her head on his shoulder. Bad Rose! Bad, bad Rose Tyler! It should not feel this good!

Rose was intrigued and was deeply concentrating on the film; gasping and exclaiming in all the right places. But then they reached the part where the boat began to sink… Rose froze. Her heart began pumping twice its normal rate, and all her muscles tensed. The Doctor, who hadn't even been watching the film – just lost in his own thoughts – noticed Rose suddenly tense up. He looked at her in confusion. He saw her eyes transfixed on the screen, and looked at it himself – people floating helplessly, screaming - chaos. He looked back at Rose, his brow creased with worry as she began to shudder uncontrollably, gasping for breath.

Rose was fighting the urge to be sick. Her mind had gone blank. All she could think about was water gushing, swirling, choking. She was sinking down into an inky blackness. Down, down, down. And then… nothing.


	2. A Solution Gone Wrong

**Chapter 2**

The Doctor flew into the TARDIS's infirmary ward, banging open the door, and rushed Rose to a bed. He didn't know what was happening. It looked as though she was having a seizure. She was boiling hot, tossing and turning, and panting non-stop. Her heartbeat was all over the place… After a few minutes, she seemed to calm down slightly, and gradually sank into unconsciousness. She'd stopped trembling and shuddering; although her forehead still glistened with sweat, and her temperature was off the scale. The Doctor had no idea what to do. He felt so helpless. He soaked some towels in icy water, and pressed them to her burning head and neck in a vain hope to lower her temperature.

He sat by her side for 2 days solid, never letting go of her hand, not moving even to eat or drink. The only time he got up was to replace the cold towels around Rose's head every so often. He sat there vigilantly day and night, pausing sometimes to dribble water slowly into her parched mouth. And, bit-by-bit, Rose's heart rate began to slow down to normal. It was exhausting, even for a time lord, and after the second day, his eyes began to droop slowly. He decided to rest his eyes – just for 5 minutes. Slowly his head tilted forwards, and lay to rest on Rose's stomach; his fingers still entwined with hers, twitching every so often as he dreamt.

Rose's eyes flickered open. Her temperature was fine, and her heart rate was normal. She looked around and recognized her surroundings as the TARIDS infirmary. She wondered where the doctor was; he'd obviously been looking after her. She was aware of a warm weight just below her ribcage, and slowly, painfully, lifted her head to look down. What she saw made her heart flutter happily, and made her smile sleepily. His head was resting on her stomach, face tilted towards her. He was obviously fast asleep. Before she could stop herself, Rose reached out a hand to stroke his hair… Or at least she tried to.. She realized then, that her hand was being clutched by one of the Doctors'.

She gazed down at him, loving him more and more each passing second. She sighed with sleepy pleasure – she would've happily stayed forever in that moment; and would've done – had his eyes not suddenly opened. Suddenly she was staring into his deep, dark, brown eyes. She reddened at being caught so unawares by him.  
"Rose?"   
"Hello," she beamed.  
His head shot up. "You're ok! You're not hot anymore or:- " he rambled on for about a minute until he noticed her laughing. "What?" he asked bewildered.  
"Oh just… you. What would I do without you?"  
"Not that much I imagine," he replied seriously. The he looked at her, right in the eyes. "Rose," he said softly. She turned away, knowing what was coming.  
"I need to know… what happened?"  
"I just… I. N-n-nothing…" she turned her head away from him, too ashamed to look him in the eyes.  
He cupped her cheek with his hand, and turned her face to him, "Please Rose – I can help you…"  
"You can't!" she blurted out. "No one can.. It's just I.. I mean," she avoided his eyes and muttered, "I'm afraid of water." Her face turned pink as tears of shame and anger dripped down her cheeks. The Doctor was startled – by her admittance yes; but more so by her tears. His heart twinged painfully – he hated to think of her upset.

He wordlessly stood up, walked around to her, and clasped both her hands in his. "There's no need to be ashamed of that," and he enveloped her in a hug, feeling her tears soaking into his neck. He would do anything to stop Rose from feeling his pain, but had no idea what he could do. He slowly pulled away from her and brushed a tear off her cheek. "Would you like to talk about it?"  
Rose nodded.

The Doctor let Rose choose where she wanted to discuss it. He wanted her to feel as comfortable as possible. She decided on her room, and he sat on her bed with her. She was too restless, and kept standing up and walking to and fro. The Doctor sat there waiting patiently – he knew that if he put any pressure on her, she would recoil away, and he wouldn't learn anything from her. He knew that if he waited there, she would come out with it eventually – she just needed her own time. He would give her as much time as she needed.

Rose paced around. She was nervous and jumpy and didn't know where to begin. The room was intimidating her – her own room! She couldn't tell him here. In her room it somehow felt too personal. Too private. She took his hand again, and they went down the corridor. Rose had no idea where she was going – just letting her feet carry her where they wanted. She knew that she was running away – maybe if she just kept moving then she wouldn't have to tell him. But some part of her wanted to tell him – wanted to let go of the secret she had hidden so long.

Her feet took her to the control room. She felt better here – the familiar pulsing green light was comforting, and the humming of the TARDIS made her feel more relaxed. She would tell him here. She sat down on the cool metal grating. He did the same. And she began to tell him how it all started…

The Doctor listened as Rose told him of how, when she was 10, she'd been skating on a frozen lake in winter. It was the middle of the night, and she'd snuck out of the house to have a laugh with some friends on the ice. She'd been right in the middle of the lake when it had started cracking.  
She paused for a second – obviously trying to control her emotions, and then continued.  
All the others had managed to get off the ice in time, but before Rose could get to the side, the ice had given way, and she'd fallen in. 

She choked as the memory threatened to engulf her. She couldn't bear to describe, and went on. "Officially, I was dead for 3 minutes.. But my friends had phoned for h-h-help, and the doctor's managed to.. to.. start my heard and get me breathing.." She couldn't carry on, and let out a ragged sob. The Doctor couldn't bear to think of her so upset, and wrapped his arms around her, swaying from side-to-side.  
"It's just I-I-I don't know what to do!" she sighed, burying her head in his neck.  
"I know I know," he chided.  
They say there for a while, arms locked in a wordless hug. The Doctor thought to himself of how he could help her. "Rose..."  
She didn't reply.  
"Rose? I have an idea…"  
She murmured something uncomprehensible. The Doctor loosened his arms, and looked at her. She was fast asleep, muttering incoherently. The Doctor smiled – she must be exhausted after everything that had happened. He gently lifted her up and carried her to her room, laying her carefully on her bed, and wrapping the covers around her. He quietly left the room – he'd tell her his idea in the morning. 

Rose yawned, opening her eyes to find herself in her own bed; fully dressed. She couldn't remember how she'd gotten there. She remembered telling the Doctor everything. It had felt so good; just letting it all go… But then she couldn't recall what had happened next. She realized that he must've had to carry her – her heavy lump of a body – to her room. She cringed to herself as she stretched.

10 minutes later, Rose padded into the control room with a mug of hot chocolate – a well known favorite of hers. The Doctor bounded up to greet her and grinned, "HELLO! Bright eyed and bushy tailed are we?"  
Rose winced at his loud voice – she was not an early morning person. "No.." she moaned.  
"Shame, cause I got the perfect way for getting over your, ah.. fear."   
Rose was instantly alert and he ears pricked up, "Oh?"  
"Yeah – you've got to face your fear!"  
Her face fell, "If you mean going into the water, forget it," she declared. "They already tried that – it didn't work."  
"Ah but that's because you didn't have the Doctor with you," he beamed. Rose smiled in spite of herself, "It won't work."  
The Doctor thought for a moment, "But look Rose – if you think about it, you have showers and baths and stuff… so you're not afraid of water."  
Rose nodded, seeing what the Doctor was getting at, "Yeah I know – I'm just scared I'll d-drown… so I don't like swimming pools.. or the sea or anythin'."  
The Doctor nodded his head vigorously, "But Rose, if you're with me, I won't ever let you drown."  
Rose couldn't think of anything to answer that and sighed. "Alright, I'll try." She wasn't going to like this…  
The Doctor smiled – he'd already done the hardest part – persuading her to go through with it.  
How hard could it be?  
Half an hour later, the Doctor took Rose to one of the many rooms in which she hadn't yet been. He pushed open the door… Rose felt her mouth drop open. It was a huge swimming pool! The Doctor, upon seeing her expression of disbelief, burst out laughing. Rose was about to ask how it could be possible; but thought twice – she'd learnt to just accept things without question around the Doctor.  
"You can get ready there," he gestured to a row of very comfortable-looking cubicles.  
"But… I uh… don't have any swimming stuff…" she stammered.  
He rolled his eyes, "When you get into the cubicle, ask the TARDIS nicely, and she'll show you a swimsuit."  
"Oka-ay," she sauntered over to the row, and opened the door to one of the cubicles. The Doctor followed suit, and went into the neighboring one.

Rose closed the door, sealing the room. The lights brightened. Rose was unsure of what to do. "Umm…" she began, "Can I please:-" 

_You don't have to speak aloud… I can see inside your head. __  
_  
Rose was startled. She tried to quickly get over the fact that her last vestige of privacy had been breached unknowingly. She panicked as a nasty thought occurred to her. _Ah… how long have you been.. umm… in my head? __  
__Oh, ever since you boarded me… _If the TARDIS had had a voice, it would've sounded smug. _I can see everything – all your thoughts, emotions… desires._

Rose was shocked – surely not? The TARDIS couldn't know of her:-

_I know very well of your feelings towards the Doctor_…

Rose groaned – she'd thought she'd kept it so well hidden. So private… all for nothing. She gasped – what if he knew? What if the TARDIS:-

_It's OK,_ the TARDIS soothed, _I don't tell anyone what I see in other peoples' minds… unless the situation calls for it of course…_

Rose was relieved. In fact, she was quite curious about this power of the TARDIS's. _So.. can you see anyone's mind? Like.. Mickey's? Or my mum's? ___

_No – they'd have to come aboard me. ___

_Oh… _She was slightly disheartened. _Well… at least you won't tell the Doctor anyway. ___

_There is no need for me to tell the Doctor… he can look into your mind just as well as I can. __  
_  
Rose choked. _W-what? HE KNOWS WHAT I'M THINKING ABOUT? Is he in my mind right NOW?_ She frantically tried to think of a brick wall…

The TARDIS laughed, _Thinking of a brick wall isn't exactly going to help… the mind is much more complicated and in-depth than that. It's not seeing your current thoughts… it's seeing everything – memories, feelings… everything._

Rose groaned.

The TARDIS continued, _As it is_… _he is not inside your mind. In fact, I understand the Doctor does not particularly enjoy violating peoples' barriers. He seems to think it's disrespectable… I thankfully don't suffer from the guilt he may feel…_

Rose almost gasped with relief. _Thank God._

The TARDIS would've smirked at Rose's reaction if she could've. _Anyway, I believe you came here for something? _

_Oh.. yes!_ Rose had completely forgotten about her reason for being here, and trembled at the thought of the deep pool on the other side of the door.  
The TARDIS noticed her discomfort, and calmed her. _You'll be fine._ _Everything will be fine._

Rose mumbled, "I guess…"

_Anyway… a swimming costume? Am I right? __  
_

_Yea… Please…_  
There was a soft whirring noise, and a section of the back wall glowed white and rotated to reveal a ledge. And on that ledge…?  
Rose gave a loud squeal of both laughter and horror. A small black bikini THONG?

The Doctor's voice came muffled through the wall to her right. "Rose? You OK" he said in a strangled voice. (He was having problems of his own – so far the TARDIS had refused to give him any swimming kit, and had managed to hide his clothes – insisting he swim naked).

Rose laughed, "I'm fine." Then to the TARDIS; _PLEASE no… you can't be serious._

_  
__Deadly serious. _The TARDIS replied.

_I beg you, please. Something a little less… revealing. _Rose pleaded. The TARDIS made a noise which could've resembled a sigh of annoyance. The wall glowed again and rotated 360°. Instead of the black thong swimsuit, there was now a modest 1-piece swimming costume.

_Thank you_. Rose sighed gratefully.

5 minutes later, Rose stepped out of the cubicle, wearing her costume. Soon after, the Doctor came out of his cubicle having managed to persuade the TARDIS to grudgingly give him something to wear. A pair of red trunks. They were slightly tighter than he would've liked – he decided he didn't like the TARDIS's warped sense of humour. Rose couldn't help but look at his legs for longer than necessary. She could think about those lovely legs all day… She closed her eyes dreamily.  
"Ready?" Rose snapped out of her daze and took his hand. She looked at the pool and swallowed – her throat had suddenly gone very dry. She was already terrified, and she wasn't even in yet.

The Doctor led her to the shallow end – where the water barely came up to the knees. When the Doctor had stepped out of his changing room and seen Rose standing there in her black swimming costume, he'd had to muster all his powers of self-control to not just run over to her, sweep her into his arms, and lose himself to her. He wondered if she, standing there looking so innocent, had had any idea of how powerless she made him. He had managed to take her hand without incident, and was not taking her to the water's edge. He felt her tremble. He squeezed her hand gently and smiled reassuringly at her. He had no idea if he was doing the right thing. Part of him was screaming at him to take her back and not to go through with this. But another part of him knew that if Rose could get over her fear of drowning; this was the only way.

They reached the side, and the Doctor slide gracefully in. Rose sat on the side; her legs dangling over and into the water. It was exactly the same temperature as her body, and yet she was shivering uncontrollably. The Doctor, standing in the water, turned to face her. He leant in and put both hands on the floor either side of her hips. He leant right in up to her ear and whispered softly in her ear, "It's ok – you can do this." Rose felt a shiver go up her spine – which was quite unrelated to her terror of water. Those seconds in which he had said that were enough to make her heart melt. As he had spoken, his lips had momentarily brushed against her earlobe - making her feet tingle. It had felt so intimate. But then the moment had gone. She took a deep breath and slid into the water. 

The Doctor took her hand and led her deeper and deeper until the water came up to her chest; swirling around her as though, even then, trying to pull her down. Had the Doctor not been holding her hand comfortingly, she would've gone straight out. As it was, the Doctor was holding her hand, and she would not let him down.  
"I'm going to try to get you lying on your back – just floating ok?" he suggested softly.  
Rose immediately tensed, "I – can't.. It won't work… I'll sink," she babbled.  
"Rose," he murmured, "do you trust me?"  
She turned and looked at him. Fully looked at him right deep into his dark eyes. He didn't turn his gaze. Rose could see everything in his eyes – his worry; his care; his pity. And she did trust him. Honestly she did. She trusted him more than she trusted herself. It's just.. the water – it ate her up; the cold fear gripped her. She could remember water churning – dragging her down beneath the ice. But the Doctor. He wouldn't let her go… would he? But could even he control the ruthless, merciless, raging torrents of water?

Rose was fighting an immense battle. The Doctor could see it in her eyes, and could understand it perfectly – her trust for him warring with her greatest fear. Had he been in Rose's position, there would've been no way he would trust anyone enough – not even the TARDIS – to protect him. So he was tremendously surprised when Rose said hoarsely, "OK." The full impact of her answer hit him then, and he realized exactly how much she trusted him. She was laying her life in his hands. Not only that, but in such a way that it terrified her. The Doctor was speechless with honour and gratitude – but also with his new-found weight of responsibility. He could not – would not – let her down. If he did so, she could, quite possibly, never trust him again. He took a deep breath.

"Ok – now you need to slowly tilt your head back, and let your feet float upwards." He demonstrated how to float on the surface. Rose gritted her teeth – she was terrified, but still trusted him. He held the back of her head and her hip as she gently tilted back. There was a split second in which she waved her arms and floundered helplessly; but he kept her steady… and she'd done it. She was successfully (if a bit wobbly) floating on her back. The Doctor was so overjoyed, that he made to take his hand off her hip, but Rose yelled, "DON'T!" He looked at her – she was pale, with fear etched all over her face.  
"Please," her voice shook with terror, and he understood – she trusted him above all else, and that was the only reason she wasn't panicking. Once again he was stunned by her trust and faith in him.  
Rose floated there for the next 5 minutes; the Doctor taught her a gentle backstroke in the deep end of the pool. All through it, he did not once remove his hand from the side of her waist. As she began to pick up the backstroke, she stretched her arms further, and marveled at how much faster she went. She was still scared, yes, but knew the Doctor wouldn't let anything happen. "What are you smiling at?" she grinned and splashed him gently with her hand.  
"OI," he spluttered, splashing her back.  
She yelled as the waves almost unbalanced her, before splashing him back – right in his eyes. Before he could stop himself, he instinctively reached up to rub them… and took his hand off Rose.

At once Rose panicked and tried to right herself. She lifted both her legs up. Her hips instantly submerged under the water. She thrashed around, trying to stay above it. She closed her eyes, yelling between chokes as she went under. The water was filling her nose and ears. She tried to breathe, but instead of air, water flooded down her throat. She'd somehow flipped over, and was now totally disorientated. She opened her eyes in a desperate bid to find the surface, but was blinded by water. And then she remembered water… ice cold, dragging her down. She was terrified – it was happening again! She was going to die here. She sank slowly down, still flailing her arms and silently screaming; bubbles erupting from her mouth. Down, down, into the darkness. She didn't struggle anymore. She was too tired. She knew she was going to drown. The darkness was closing in around her. But then she felt something tug at her arm. With supreme effort she turned her head and saw the blurred form of the Doctor. He was pulling her up; trying to pull her to the surface. A surge of hope rushed through her, and she but on a huge burst of energy and kicked violently with her feet. She had no idea whether it was helping, but the water was pressing down on her, and she was totally out of air – not able to think beyond her desperation. 

They broke the surface; Rose gasping for breath. She breathed in deeply, coughing and trying to rid the water from her lungs. Tears mingled with the water; dribbling down her face. She'd really thought she was going to die. The Doctor swam her to the side and pulled her helpless trembling form out of the water, sitting her down on the floor. She was limp with exhaustion and couldn't hold herself up. The Doctor leant her against the wall for support and waited until she'd calmed down slightly. And then he began to apologize.

Oh how stupid! He'd done the one thing he'd promised both himself and Rose that he'd never do. He'd let her down. He'd let go. It was totally his fault, and she'd never trust him again. "Oh God Rose. I never meant… it was a total accident, I am so sorry. I.. Please.. I understand if you'll never trust me again.. but please.. forgive me.. please." His eyes were almost filled with his own tears – he couldn't believe he'd betrayed her trust.

Rose was silent and trembling from fatigue. Once she'd gathered enough strength, she said in a small, feeble voice, "Please – I just need to sleep. I'm… tired." She didn't blame him that much – she knew it had been her fault more than his. She didn't trust him any less. But she was so tired, she was shaking and could barely walk. The Doctor helped her and supported her as they made their way slowly to her room.

As the Doctor lay her down on her bed, she turned and curled up to face the wall. It was how she normally slept, but the Doctor understood it to mean that she was angry with him.

_Oh. She hates me.. She will never trust me again. I.. I can't believe I did it. I was so:-_ he moaned to himself as he sat on a chair, facing the bed. He would, at least, watch over her. He sat there in silence, his mind in turmoil. There was so much he wanted to say. To tell her… "Rose?"

Rose was in the state of not being yet asleep, but not being entirely awake. The Doctor's voice roused her out of her stupor.  
"Rose?"   
She stayed silent – if he thought she was asleep, then he wouldn't talk, and she could sink back into dreamland. Her eyes were closed, facing the wall… but she was wide awake.

The Doctor, as Rose had predicted, assumed she was asleep, and sank further back into the chair, gazing at her.  
_You love her._ The TARDIS sprang unbidden into his mind.  
_I don't!_ He said vehemently. _We're too different… Nothing will ever happen. Anyway, he went on, changing tack, It's too dangerous. What if someone found out how much she meant to me… Not that she does…_ He hastily corrected himself, _But what if?_   
If the TARDIS could've, she would've sighed. _You love her. That's all there is to it. __  
_"I don't love her," the Doctor said it aloud to finalize the point, "She is a friend – nothing more." And even if he didn't convince the TARDIS, he convinced himself… and he certainly convinced Rose.

Her mind echoed with his voice – "she is a friend – nothing more." A solitary tear ran down her cheek, unseen by the Doctor. She fell asleep slowly, his words burning into her soul. He would never know the pain he'd caused her. She was determined to not let her feelings ever get out from under control again. How stupid she'd been to think that the Doctor would ever love her. She silently screamed at herself. She would never make that mistake again. She narrowed her eyes with new-found conviction. She would not allow her love for the Doctor ever run away from her. She would hide it away, in the back of her mind and forget about it. She would get over him. She vowed to herself. And she slowly drifted off to sleep.


	3. A Breach Of Privacy

**Chapter 3**

In the next few weeks, the Doctor persuaded Rose to go into the swimming pool with him, and she painstakingly learnt to swim. No more incidents happened again. They were very polite and cordial with one another, but had lost the bond they'd shared before. The Doctor was convinced it was because Rose no longer trusted him, while Rose was convinced that it was because the Doctor had found out her feelings for him and was angry at her. They no longer talked constantly or laughed together. The TARDIS became an unhappy place to be, and in the end, they tried to stay in their own rooms – away from one another as much as possible.

The Doctor could bear it no longer, and one day, approached Rose after breakfast. "Hey!" he tried to sound happy.  
"Hello…" She didn't bother putting on any fake cheer.  
"Can we talk?" The Doctor's face stayed neutral, but he had a pleading look in his eyes.  
Rose shrugged, "k…" She was indifferent – she had now mastered ignoring her feelings for him.  
The Doctor wondered where to begin, "Rose?" he began tentatively, "Are you ok? I mean… is everything fine with you?"  
Rose shrugged again, "yea." She knew she was being stingy with her replies, but she couldn't help it – the Doctor didn't love her, and the knowledge of this hurt her deeply.  
"It's just," he continued, "You aren't… cheerful anymore. You never smile; you never laugh; you stay away from me as much as possible; your eyes are always red – as though you've been crying…"   
Rose didn't answer, and looked vacantly at the table, not meeting his gaze.  
"You just… don't seem to be 'you' anymore" he stammered. "Was it me? Was it because of what happened in the pool? Is it me?" 

Rose didn't know how to explain. She couldn't describe her love of the Doctor to herself – let alone him.  
He said softly, "I just want to help."  
A surge of anger shot through her. He'd done everything possible to do the opposite of 'helping.' How could he say he wanted to help! He'd caused the whole thing! She jumped to her feet and spat, "you can't help me – I'm 'just a friend.'" And she ran to her room sobbing, leaving the Doctor sitting there totally bewildered. What on earth did that mean? Just a friend?

She lay on her bed, her head buried in her pillow as she cried her eyes out. She didn't know why she was crying. Why she was angry. There were too many reasons. She cried for the fact that the Doctor didn't love her. She cried because she couldn't forget her feelings for him. She cried because she didn't have the courage to tell him. She cried because she was already crying… A few minutes later there was a quiet knock on her door. She couldn't face him now. She just couldn't. She didn't want to have to apologise; even though she knew she was in the wrong. She kept silent. The Doctor came in anyway, and saw her – eyes puffy and red, her face wet with tears, and her hair all over the place. His heart almost burst with sadness, and he practically ran to her; smothering her with a hug. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," he whispered over and over again. She choked through her tears, "No no. I'm sorry – it was me… I just snapped at you for nothing I-"  
"No it was me."  
"Uh uh – my fault entirely."  
"Honestly, it was me."  
"No really – it was me I-"  
They both stopped and burst out laughing. Neither knew why they were laughing, but it didn't matter, because it was almost like old times… almost.

The Doctor was desperate to find out what was wrong, and so he decided to do something he'd sworn to himself that he'd never do. Slowly, in the same way that the TARDIS had done, still holding her, he slipped into her mind…

In an instant, he was immersed in an ocean of sadness and loneliness. It was so intense he almost cried out. It was a sea of total anguish and misery. No wonder she was constantly in a bad mood. But why? What was causing her so much pain? He dug deeper and deeper into her mind; going further and further until he was hit by a much stronger emotion. It was so powerful and immense that at first he didn't recognize it. It surrounded him – crushing him. And then he realized what it was. It was love. Not just love; but a fierce, passionate love, laced with burning desire. It seemed to be… fighting? Yes – fighting with the misery and sadness at the surface. He understood then what Rose was going. She was fighting her feelings of love, and that alone seemed to be causing her this intense pain? If she continued to fight, then the love would totally vanish – leaving nothing but despair in its wake. Even now, as he stood there in the depths of her mind, he noticed the fiery love was dimming. But why? Why was she fighting it? Who was it for? He went further, deeper, slowly and sluggishly. And a word came echoing over the waves of burning passion, reverberating through her mind.   
"Doctor." 

He reeled back in shock. He was so surprised that he released his hold on her mind, and tumbled back into his own. He remembered now – "I don't love her – she's a friend, nothing more." Oh what an idiot! He'd said it aloud, and she'd heard. He knew he was the one who was making her fight her love. He remembered the total agony in her mind; the total blackness, with not hope. He let out a dry sob, forgetting she was there, "Oh how can you bear it?"

"Bear what?" Rose asked, confused.  
"The total misery," the Doctor said before he could stop himself.  
Rose had no idea what he was talking about.  
"Why do you fight it?"  
"Fight what?"  
"Your love…" he said softly.  
Rose froze. "What…?" she breathed. How did he know? "How do you know? Did the TARDIS:- "  
The Doctor realized he'd said too much – and now he'd have to tell her. "No, not the TARDIS… it was… ah… I did it. I looked inside your mind." He gritted his teeth, waiting for the blow to fall. Rose felt the anger crashing down on her. WHY was her mind always being breached? Could she not keep anything to herself? "WHY?" she yelled, "CAN I HAVE NO PRIVACY!" she pushed away from him and snarled, "Is it too much to ask?" She ranted on for 5 minutes, beating his chest – just lost in her own fog of anger. 

The Doctor had known she would react badly. And while she was screaming at him, he'd tactfully ignored it, and sunken into his own thoughts. What could he do? She loved him. And he knew he loved her. He was both overjoyed and scared. He wanted to show her his love. So badly. But it would be dangerous for them both. Could she really handle it? He glanced at her, her hands pounding on his chest now… he made a decision.


	4. Lovers' Fantasy

**A/N: Ok... this chapter's a little... smutty. This is my first time writing.. this kind of thing.. so bear with me (that sounds so wrong).**

**Chapter 4**

"Don't you want to know my reaction to finding out you're head over heels in love with me?" he half-laughed.  
She ignored his ill-timed humour as sadness filled her eyes. "You don't love me remember?" she said bitterly, "I'm just a fr:- "  
The Doctor leant in before she could say any more, and silenced her with a gentle kiss.

She'd often imagined what his kiss would taste like, but now, she was in shock. "What?" she said dumbly, as her brain berated her for sounding so stupid. He just smiled at her; his eyes burrowing into hers. He kissed her again, softer and more intimately than before. He gently coaxed her lips open, and slid his tongue over them, gently grazing her own tongue. She managed to get over her initial shock, and began to tentatively return his kiss, moving her tongue around his. Rose felt him smile slightly as he kissed her deeply, and ever-more passionately. He picked her up, not breaking the kiss, and she wrapped her legs around his waist as he pressed her to the wall. Rose felt the kiss change; the Doctor becoming more vigorous - his tongue rolling and curving over hers desperately. Rose matched him, and their teeth clashed together in frenzy. They kissed furiously, as though each second was their last. She tugged at his bottom lips, moaning as he ran his hands over the curves of her body.

Rose had never felt such a strong sense of longing and desire. She wanted to do things to him that she'd only ever dreamt of when her mind ran (very far) away from her. The Doctor laughed softly into her mouth.  
"What?" she paused for breath.  
"The things you come up with.. What is that you want to do to me with cream?" Rose realized he was inside her head again, but was too caught up in the moment to be embarrassed, "So?" she said innocently.  
He shook his head – he was too full of lust to keep up any humorous conversation and he made a strange noise in the back of his throat – a combination of a groan and a growl – and buried his head in her neck kissing her, and rolling his tongue over her bare skin; gently nipping and sucking it. Rose groaned. She didn't know how long she could contain herself. An image of her and the Doctor together in a shower sprang into her mind, and the Doctor, seeing her desires, carried her to the bathroom.

He pushed her, not roughly, into the corner of one of the TARDIS's showers, still in a furious lip-lock with her. He used one hand to hold her up, while the other fumbled with the shower tap. Cool water gushed onto both of them, making Rose's hairs stand on end with cold. The Doctor surfaced from the kiss, and met the sight of Rose's wet body, her t-shirt clinging to her. His hearts managed to pump even faster than before and he gave a small moan. He couldn't contain himself for much longer. She raised her eyebrows playfully, noticing how much he was resisting the feeling coursing through him. She reached a hand down to his trousers. He gasped with surprise and pleasure as she played with him. His whole body was shaking with anticipation as he arched his back in ecstasy… She dropped her hand, smirking. He looked at her, dazed. He couldn't believe she'd done that. She almost laughed at his confused face.  
"Why you," he growled, and pinned both her arms to the wall above her head, roughly wrenching her lips apart and rolling his tongue around her. She squealed softly as she tried to get her hands free. Again her hand stole to his trousers, but he was ready for her this time. "Oh no you don't," and he deftly picked her up, ignoring her shrieks of protest. He turned the shower off and, pressing his whole body against her, rained kisses up her neck and chin, feeling his way to her mouth. She sighed with pleasure, her hands running through his hair. The Doctor meanwhile, had found the top button of her shirt, and had started to undo it. She followed his lead, and slowly pushed his overcoat off, letting it drop onto the wet floor. The Doctor, in the meantime, had made quick work of her shirt, and it joined his coat on the shower tiles. Their tongues waged war with each other as Rose's jeans accompanied the strewn clothes on the floor. Rose frantically undid his own trousers as fast as she could. He paused to step out of them, grazing his tongue over her lips. They stood there in their underwear gazing at one another. His eyes ran over her toned body; following the graceful curves of her legs up to her light blue knickers, over her flat stomach, his eyes traveled upwards; taking in her well-proportioned breasts behind a matching bra, and finally meeting her eyes. He licked his lips, tasting her on him.

He pressed himself against her once more, gently thrusting into her. She moaned, desperately wanting to rid them both of the underwear which was preventing them from meeting. She slid her hands over his chest, feeling all the ridges and contours of it and his hard stomach. Her fingers came to rest on the elastic of his boxers and gently tugged at them. He offered no resistance as she slid them down his legs. But Before she could do anything about his new-found nakedness, he swept her into his arms and carried her out of the bathroom. He carried her through the TARDIS, leaving her underwear in a trail behind them as he headed to his bedroom – stopping on the way to pick up some cream…

They lay there tangled up in one another, sleeping in the warm afterglow; their foreheads touching and their ankles entwined. Rose snuggled closer to him whilst sleeping, stirring him. He opened his eyes and gazed at her perfectly beautiful face. She looked so peaceful and happy – he was glad that he was the reason for it. He smiled sleepily. He was lucky, he knew, to find someone who could still love him. She was so amazing. He gently kissed her lips for a moment. She smiled in her sleep. The Doctor wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her closer to him. Her head nuzzled into the small crook of his neck, while his head rested slightly on hers. He wondered vaguely as he drifted off to sleep, if she was dreaming about him.


	5. An Old 'Friend'

**A/N: Sorry i havn't updated in a while - i'm in the middle of maths, biology, and english coursework (funfunfun), and am finding it increasingly hard to update... so please bear with me.**

**Thanks, by the way, to all my reviewers - i was pleasantly suprised... i didn't really expect people to review. So i'm very happy :D:D**

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Rose awakened slowly, smelling the Doctor's smell. She remembered what they'd done last night and sighed happily. Lying here in his arms, she felt so protected and safe. She lay there for a few minutes, not thinking beyond the body that had its arm around her. She yawned as an idea sparked in her mind. Careful not to wake him, she slid out from his grasp. She quickly wrote 'STAY HERE' on a scrap piece of paper and walked to the TARDIS kitchen, grinning to herself. She would use all her cooking skills (of which there were not many) and make him breakfast in bed…

Everything that could go wrong, went wrong. She burnt the bacon, she burnt the eggs; she even managed to burn the beans. She managed to smash a plate, and, while she was cleaning that up, knocked over a mug of (now cold) tea. She sighed. She felt like crying – why did these things always happen to her? She heard a snort of laughter behind her.  
"What the HELL have you done to my kitchen!"

The Doctor had woken up to find Rose's note, and had been curious as to what she was doing. Nevertheless he decided to wait – at least for 10 minutes. Nothing had happened, so he'd snuck out of his room silently. He quickly found her – all he'd had to do was to find the source of smoke and her yells of frustration. He watched her by the door for a few minutes until he could contain his laughter no longer. "What the HELL have you done to my kitchen?"

Instantly he regretted his words as she turned to him. She looked so miserable, with her cheeks flushed from stress. Her chin wobbled, "I just.. I wanted to surprise you." She said quietly, her eyes downcast, looking at the floor.

When she looked up, the Doctor had vanished. A split second later, she felt arms wrap around her waist from behind, and felt the Doctor's breath upon the back of her neck. He rocked her from side to side, telling her not to worry, and that he wasn't that hungry anyway; his chin resting on her shoulder. She couldn't help it, and snorted with laughter.  
"That's more like it!" he grinned, and spun her round to face him as she laughed. He locked her in a powerful, passionate kiss, and gathered up all his courage. He knew this was the right time to say it. He had an urge. It was now or never. "Rose… I love you." He inwardly gritted his teeth and tensed, waiting for her answer. She broke the kiss, looking up into his eyes. Oh God… he'd done it. He'd blown it. He'd gone and scared her off.

But then came a surprise… "I love you too." She smiled at him, and sank into his arms. The Doctor almost dropped her in surprise.

She loved him? Wave upon wave of happiness broke down upon him.

He had never felt so at peace with the whole of space and time. For once, things seemed to be going in the right direction. They swayed together from side to side, arms wrapped around one another; neither willing to let the other go.

Life in the TARDIS was good. They spent all their time together – barely letting the other out of their sight. Rose slept every night in the Doctor's bed, falling asleep and waking up in his arms. She suspected that he didn't actually sleep – more likely that he stayed awake and watched her when she was fast asleep… She didn't mind really. It helped her sleep easier; knowing she was being watched over. She couldn't imagine a better life. They lazed around all day, finding new ways of loving one another. This lasted for about a month; but the Doctor began to feel restless. It wasn't that he was bored – he loved spending all his days exploring Rose's body… It was just… He was itching to go out and do what he did best – time travel.

He asked Rose one day, in the warm glow of candles surrounding his bed as they clung together. "We should get moving – we have the whole universe to discover!" Rose laughed at his enthusiasm. He knew he wanted to get back to the TARDIS control room and go exploring – she missed the traveling almost as much.  
"Where shall we go?" he looked at her.  
"Lesss go somvher AMAZING… TAWTALLY RANDOM!" tears of laughter rolled down her cheeks as she staggered into a sitting position… ok – she was SLIGHTLY tipsy. She'd only had ONE bottle of Vodka. But she _knew_ she wasn't drunk. The Doctor looked both amused and worried – he knew his own limits (which far surpassed those of humans'). "You're drunk Rose…"  
Rose giggled, "Only a teensy weensy ICKLE bit," her head lolled. The Doctor looked at the empty bottles of Vodka and glasses that littered his floor. "Rose you're wasted," he said exasperatedly, standing up. Jackie would KILL him… mind you, if she ever found out what they'd been up to together… The Doctor tried not to think about it – he wanted to keep his internal organs intact thank you very much.

He still hadn't sorted out where Rose wanted to go. He looked at her, giggling with her tongue hanging loosely out her mouth; he knew he wouldn't get a straight answer tonight. He'd tackle it tomorrow – after she'd gotten over her hangover of course. Rose gave a huge belch and promptly collapsed on the bed – arms and legs all over the place. The Doctor sighed and got up. She was totally limp. The Doctor knew she was unconscious – it was hardly surprising really; considering the amount of alcohol she'd drunken. He rolled his eyes, and kneeled next to her, tolling her onto her eyes and brushing her hair out of her face with his fingers. He gazed at her in adoration, once again thinking how lucky he was.

Rose became aware, through the dim haziness of her brain, of a dull throbbing slowly growing and growing. It pounded through her… her own heartbeat rattled through her head. She winced every time it pumped. She opened her eyes a crack. Sharp light seeped through, piercing her brain. She groaned in pain and tried to sit up. She heard a voice distantly say, "I seriously advise you to not do that…" Rose paid the voice no heed and sat up. A wave of nausea passed over her, and she grabbed a bucked which happened to be next to her, vomiting into it. She didn't bother to wonder who had put it there or why – she could only think of how she would never touch alcohol again. She groaned as her headache pounded on relentlessly. And she tried to open her eyes again. It was better this time – someone had mercifully turned off the light. The distant voice sounded closer this time, "You'll see that I thought to lay out a range of buckets for you – all different colours and shades just so you could choose!"  
"Oh very helpful," she moaned sarcastically, recognizing the Doctor's voice. Through the darkness of the room, she could just make out his shape coming towards her. She felt the bed sink slightly as he sat next to her, and she threw up again. She patted her back, "ground yourself," he suggested, and gently pushed her head forwards until it was level with her knees. She began to feel a bit better – although her head still throbbed worse than ever. The Doctor passed her a glass containing liquid emitting a faint red glow. "Drink this – it'll help."  
Rose took the glass and hesitated, "You're sure?"  
"Trust me – just drink it all at once."  
Rose shrugged and tilted her head back, gulping down the strange tasteless drink. At once a strange sensation came over her. She felt the world spin as dizziness washed over her. Which way was up? Where was down? Her head fell backwards; but where was backwards. Her head fell into the Doctor's lap. She felt weightless – as though she could drift away any second. She couldn't feel her body. It was truly the strangest feeling. She lay there for about half a minute, just floating, then, just as suddenly as it had begun, it abruptly ended. The weight suddenly returned to her, along with her feelings. The headache and nausea however, had disappeared. "Wow," she gasped, looking up into the Doctor's smiling face. "What was that?"  
"A well-known cure for hangovers… well… well-known in every part of the universe except your galaxy of course. It's called Claiyan; from the planet Gorlenon."  
"Oh" she said, dumbly.

An hour later, after a long cold shower and several mouthwashes, Rose went to the control room. The Doctor, unsurprisingly, was already there, fiddling, as always, with parts of the control board. She'd totally recovered, and bounced up to the Doctor, instinctively reaching out to take his hand, "Hello," she beamed.  
He grinned widely, taking her offered hand, "Your tune's changed," he spoke wryly. She laughed  
"Anyway – where dyu wanna go?"  
"I have no idea… can we not just go somewhere at random?"  
The Doctor considered. "Might be interesting." And he enthusiastically yanked at a few levers, twisted a few knobs, and pressed a few buttons for good measure. Rose had a sneaking suspicion that most of those controls weren't actually 'controls' – they were just there so the Doctor could show off. She smiled inwardly as the TARDIS lurched through the time vortex. Suddenly, an alarm began bleeping. The Doctor looked up at it worriedly.  
"Whassat?" Rose asked.  
"Something's pulling us…"  
"Oh… that's bad right?"  
"Well, it's not good – let's put it that way." He punched a few buttons. But it was no use – the TARDIS hurtled down towards a bright pink planet that the Doctor had never heard of. "Hold on!" he yelled as the TARDIS fell through the planet's atmosphere.

It crashed down upon the surface with an almighty bang; a hairs breadth away from a small hut. The Doctor looked over at Rose, who'd been thrown across the room. "She nodded, looking very shaken, but otherwise unhurt. He stood up painfully, and dragged himself to the door. He took a deep breath and pulled it open. They were in a field, he registered, green grass all around, with a forest in the distance. He glanced up. Hmm… pink sky. Well that was... unusual. He looked at the hut, and cautiously took a step towards it. But before he could get any further, a pale blue figure burst out its front door, clad in violent orange, and yelling with joy. "You found me – you got my message you:-" she stopped, realising who it was. "D-doctor?" she gasped. "It can't be."  
The Doctor beamed, "Lyrin! What brings you here?"


	6. Disloyalty & Dishonesty

**A/N: This will most likely be the last chapter i'm posting for a while... lots of amazingly fantastic supercalifrjalisticexpialidocious english coursework to do - goddamn pride and prejudice... i never thought i could learn to hate mr darcy quite so much... just goes to show you can really suprise yourself, lol.**

**So; sorry to all my faithful reviewers bows head in shame - though i hope this chapter is ok for the while..**

**I wasn't entirely sure if i should'v included it :S... i just needed a reason for Lyrin to be untrustworthy, cause Rose needs to run off... (oops, i'v said too much:P ahh well.. clues for next chapter anyway : rose gets into danger - what's new?)**

**Anyway - so i was a bit iffy with this chapter, but whatever. Enjoy (if you can) :D**

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'Lyrin' yelled for joy and beckoned for him to come to her, "I've missed you! Come inside, come inside," she hugged him.  
"Hang on a sec," he said, and called, "Rose!" he then spoke to Lyrin, "I want you to meet someone. Be nice." There was almost a pleading edge to his tone.  
Rose stepped out of the TARDIS, shutting the door behind her. She looked warily at the woman who had her arms around the Doctor.  
"Rose, I want you to meet Lyrin. Lyrin, this is Rose…"  
"Hi," said, Rose awkwardly, holding out a hand.  
Lyrin looked at her outstretched hand in astonishment, and then to the doctor. "This one's cheeky," she stated, flicking Rose's hand away. Then she addressed Rose coldly, "Humans," she said, the word as though it disgusted her, "are servants, and should remain silent unless spoken to." And with that, she turned haughtily to the Doctor.  
"Actually," he began, but Lyrin interrupted, "Come in, come in; I want to tell you everything." She took his arm and led him inside. The Doctor shot Rose a deeply apologetic look as he was wrenched towards the hut. Rose just gaped.

How could he? Who on earth was that blue woman? SERVANT! Why was she all over the Doctor? Why didn't the Doctor stick up for her? A million questions zoomed around Rose's head as she followed behind them numbly.

Lyrin gestured to the Doctor to sit on one of the chairs. Then she looked at Rose; apparently wondering why she was still here. Rose was beginning to wonder the same thing. "You may leave us," Lyrin demanded pointedly, "stay inside near the house. It's not safe out of the field." Rose opened her mouth to argue, but noticed the Doctor's pleading look. She bit back an angry retort and stormed out, through the corridor and into the field. She had no idea what was going on, but she would kill the Doctor when they got out of here.

The Doctor stood up grimacing, and walked to the window, watching Rose kick over a bucket and sit grumpily on the floor. He sighed – he was going to get it in the neck when they were alone, he knew. Lyrin didn't notice, "I never got over you leaving me you know. Every night I prayed for your return."  
The Doctor sighed again, wandering around the room, "Lyrin – you knew me for barely half a day!" He remembered it well – they'd met in a market square on Roylouf, and she'd proved herself to him by helping him overthrow the corrupt king. He had spent that day totally mesmerized by her… then he'd realised that he was literally mesmerized – she'd had psychic abilities much too powerful for her own good. So he'd left her. She'd been full and bursting with life; but secretly the Doctor had been relieved to be rid of her.  
Lyrin shrugged, "Yea well… I still waited… After you abandoned me, I went travelling. I don't know why… I just felt the need… Probably in a vain hope of meeting you again." She shot him a look. "I crashed here a year ago. I've been waiting for someone, anyone, to pass by – as you did… it's taken so long." She paused. "I thought this place was deserted. But after a while. Well… I began to notice things. I don't know what things – I've never fully seen them – they're too quick." She whispered, the fear evident in her voice, "But in the corner of my eyes I can catch them Doctor. I can see their shadows flitting to and fro…"  
"Where," the Doctor cast a look around the room.  
"Out there," she gestured towards the window.  
The Doctor gave a start. "Rose is out there!" he rushed to the window, and to his relief, saw Rose still sitting there.  
"It's ok. They don't venture into the field. It seems strange, but they don't seem to like open spaces."  
"mmm…" he said, distractedly, his eyes still on Rose.  
"A year," she said, forlornly, "a whole year missing you." She slunk closer to him and wrapped her arms around him from behind.  
"Lyrin," he said, warningly. He could feel her tugging at his mind. Oh it was so enticing. So beautiful. He wanted to let go.  
"What?" she said, innocently, her voice layered with silk a she ran a single finger down his neck.  
He resisted the temptation, groaning inwardly at the struggle to gain control over himself. He thought of Rose. How much he loved her. He managed to close his mind to Lyrin's mental probes. "Don't do this."  
"What? This?" she said, spinning him round and kissing him passionately, her mind using all its power to break his defences as she pressed her body against his.

Rose sat on the ground hunched up, muttering curses to herself. "The git didn't even stick up for me… what the HELL is his problem?" A thunderclap sounded overhead. Oh great. JUST what she needed. A drop of rain fell onto her hand. She glanced at the single bead of water, wondering if it would only be a light shower – she really didn't want to go back into that hut. All hope of a 'light shower' suddenly evaporated as a torrent of water cascaded down onto her. Within seconds Rose was completely drenched. She scrambled to her feet in surprise and ran to the hut. Lyrin could just go throw herself off a cliff if she didn't want Rose in the house. Rose wasn't going to take orders from a blue creature with no dress-sense. She stepped into the hall and shivered. She walked towards the room in which they'd previously been talking. The room which she'd been sent out of, as though she were just a kid. She couldn't hear any voice now however. She pushed the door open tentatively.

The sight that greeted her eyes horrified her. The Doctor – her Doctor; the one who'd told her he loved her – was pressed up against the wall, his mouth attached to this SLUT'S! White-hot fury seared through her chest as her heart cracked. It physically hurt her.

The Doctor tried to push Lyrin's hands away, as well as trying to withstand her blows upon his mental barriers. But she refused to move – slamming him against the wall instead. She kissed him violently as he tried to get free. Then he saw Rose. He managed to get a hand free, and practically threw Lyrin off him. "Rose," he began, spluttering. But she'd already gone.


	7. Abandoned

**A/N: Ok… so I've finally bullied myself into typing up another chapter. Don't get me wrong – I love writing… but typing up 51 written pages is not exactly the most exciting thing to be doing in half term… and I STILL haven't finished my biology coursework insane laughter **

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****Chapter 7**

Rose couldn't think straight. She had to get away. To pretend this wasn't happening. She flew out of the house; tears streaming down her face. She couldn't believe it! She ran on, numb with shock.  
The sheets of rain swallowed her up in moments, and she quickly disappeared…

The Doctor threw a fierce look at Lyrin and ran after Rose. He raced to the door and looked out… He couldn't see anything through the rain. Rose had disappeared.

Oh God – he'd lost her.

He ran out into the rain. "ROSE!" he bellowed, "COME BACK! ROSE!"

It was useless. His words were lost through the torrents of rain and deafening thunder. Anyway; even if she could hear him, she would never have come back.

"Rose…" he sobbed. There was no way he'd be able to find her in this. He turned to the house and trudged towards it helplessly. He was going to have a little chat with Lyrin…

Rose ran on relentlessly. She ignored the pain in her muscles as she sprinted; urging herself on and on. Her hair was plastered to her face and she ached from the cold. Just ahead she could vaguely make out the hazy outline of a forest. She panted through the last few metres, and abruptly came to a halt under the canopy.

It was completely dry.. The trees provided a thick shelter from the rain. The forest floor was carpeted with dry leaves and soft brown pine needles.

She wandered further into the forest where the howling wind couldn't penetrate through. She vaguely wondered if there were any dangerous creatures in here that would harm her. Then she wondered if she actually cared.

She threw herself down to the soft floor and leant against a tree, her mind whirling with furious accusations. How could the doctor _do_ that to her? He'd told her he loved her. She'd been stupidly naïve enough to _believe_ him. She angrily brushed tears away and hit her head back on the tree in anger. She was so STUPID… How could he ever love _her_? She was just a stupid ape.

She sobbed and curled up into a ball… and cried herself to sleep.

The Doctor had just finished a heated argument with Lyrin. It had mainly consisted of him simply cursing and yelling at her, and had ended with him storming out and stalked to the TARDIS, slamming the door behind him.

_I need your help_, he said bluntly

_Of course_, the TARDIS replied soothingly. She knew how much Rose meant to him. _What do you want me to do?_

_How far can you project your mind?_

_All my power is directed on the inside. I must use all my energy to focus on all of my rooms and corridors and parts and:-_

_And if we joined minds? _The Doctor interrupted. _If you stop focusing your mind on the vast mazes of yourself, and joined minds with me… How far then?_

The TARDIS paused to calculate. _Maybe… A mile or so? Maybe more. Maybe less. _She replied dubiously. _Why?_

_I need to talk to Rose… _

* * *

Rose was tossing and turning. She'd woken up a few minutes ago from the cold, and was at a loss as to what she could do. She had no idea where she was, no money, no warm clothes, no food.. and no Doctor. She was debating with herself what to do and what her options were (of which there were not many), when she was rudely interrupted.

"_Rose!"_

She sat bolt upright. He _couldn't_ have followed her. There was no way he'd have done that, the slimy little:-

"_No no,"_ a hasty reply cut her off. _"I'm inside your mind again."_

Rose slumped back. _Great.._

_Rose. You MUST listen to me!_

_Sod off. Leave me alone._

_Rose, please! It wasn't anything like that._

_Oh WHAT? _Rose scoffed, _She was just giving you a friendly snog?_

_No! _The Doctor sounded frantic. _It wasn't me – she just kissed me. I didn't do anything. Please! You have to believe me?_

Rose wanted to scream at him, but refrained, and kept her tone deadly calm. _Doctor, put yourself in my shoes. You walk in to find the one person you love more than anything else. More than life itself. And you find them in the arms of someone else. And this happens after the person you love has just told you that they love you. Now tell me doctor… how could you ever trust and believe in that person again?_

_Rose, _He trailed off, trying to think of the words. _I know you hurt. I know that you must think I'm the most uncaring, disgusting… _

He tried to find the right word to convey his message.

_Bastard… _Yea that sounded about right. He certainly felt like a complete bastard anyway.

_But I am telling the truth. I did try to stop her bu:-_

_Don't give me that bullshit! _Rose practically screamed inside her head, _You weren't exactly sticking up for me before, when she was going on about me being a _SERVANT _for god's sake. Why don't you ever STICK UP FOR ME? _She was practically in hysterics by this time. _I HATE YOU!_

The Doctor was silent for a moment. _No you don't…_ He replied quietly. _Rose? You don't hate me. _He said again, with less conviction.

She narrowed her eyes. She wasn't going to answer that one. She didn't think she'd ever be able to stop loving the Doctor… But she also knew that she wouldn't stand by and let him abuse her trust in him. She pursed her lips.

There was an awkward silence for a few moments until the Doctor broke it. _Rose, where are you? Are you near the house?_

_In some forest somewhere. _She shrugged.

The Doctor gasped. _You've got to get out of there. NOW!_

_Oh PLEASE! Just go AWAY! Can't you leave me alone?_

_Rose, it's DANGEROUS out there!_

_I can look after myself you know! I don't need you constantly watching over my shoulder. _

_FINE! _He yelled, full of unrepressed anger. _I was taking a general interest in your safety. But if you don't NEED it, then fine. Don't expect me to come running to your rescue when you get hurt. _

And he severed the mind-link.

For a fleeting moment, Rose regretted her words – but then the haunting image of the Doctor wrapped in the kiss of Lyrin flashed in front of her eyes, and her anger overcame her guilt. "Fine!" she spat, and rolled back to sleep.

* * *

Rose was fast asleep when they came. Long, tall creatures. They were thin and black, and shimmered through the air. They wavered and wafted through the breeze – acting all for the world like shadows. Their faces were lighter in colour, and their silver eyes gleamed as they surveyed their prey. It had been a long time since they'd tasted human flesh before. They'd been feeding off insects and small mammals for as long as they could remember.

They closed in on Rose, silently getting nearer and nearer. One of the younger ones tried to take a bite – it couldn't help it; it hadn't ever had human meat, and wanted to desperately taste it. It was swatted away by the eldest and was hissed at, "No no – not for us. They want us to take the humans alive," there was a hint of regret within its rasping voice, but it would never dare to go against its masters, and would obey every order it was given from them.

And so they quietly and gently picked her up, careful not to wake her, and carried her off into the night.


	8. The Rescue Begins

**A/N: Ok. So I updated sooner than I thought. This is what happens when I'm stuck in stupid rainy wet cold England :(… ah well, what can you do?**

**Sorry… It's a short chapter.. But I thought it would be a good cut-off point. **

* * *

**Chapter 8**

The creatures that had carried Rose off were known as Nightstalkers. Although they looked terrifying, they were relatively weak; which is why they hunted at night. These particular Nightstalkers had recognized how powerless they were, and had agreed to join a much larger, stronger force. They'd had an agreement – they would help patrol the borders of the forest and 'deal' with those unfortunate enough to stray into it. In exchange, their masters provided them with food and allowed them to eat whatever they found – on one condition: Any creature that looked intelligent enough to be a threat was to be brought straight to the palace. None of the Nightstalkers had ever been inside the palace - it was guarded by soldiers… Soldiers armed with guns, knives and spears.

The Nightstalkers were obedient to their masters, and so carried Rose off through the forest to their Lord's lair.

The Doctor decided to head off to find Rose as soon as the rain had stopped. He told Lyrin to get into the TARDIS and grudgingly showed her the basics for flying it. Nothing fancy – no time traveling; just up, down, left and right. She was a fast learner, and eager to help the Doctor after having caused the disappearance of Rose – she'd already picked it up after half an hour.

He stepped outside and headed off to the forest, wondering if it was a mistake to leave Lyrin alone in the TARDIS… But there was no other option.

The TARDIS soon followed, Lyrin carefully tracking the Doctor, and keeping high up in the pink clouds so as not to be seen.

The Doctor crossed the field and came to the edge. He then shouted through the eerie silence, "I know you're in there. I don't know what creature you are, but I demand to speak to your leader." He'd figured that if Rose had been blundering into the forest, the chances were she'd already got herself captured… and if she hadn't… Well the Doctor would look for her later. Unfortunately, the Doctor had a nasty feeling that she had, indeed, already been caught.

A hiss came through the trees. "Whyy are you heeere?"

"I'm looking for," he hesitated, "An apprentice of mine." Much safer to call her an apprentice than lover.

"Ssstep through theee treeessss."

Once again he hesitated. "How can I trust you?"

There was a light snicker, "You can trussst usss."

The Doctor doubted that, but stepped over the threshold…

At once, a group of creatures dropped around him. Most were green, and looked humanoid, with bared teeth. A few others seemed to be floating shadows. They would've been invisible had it not been for their silvery eyes. The Doctor noticed, to his dismay, that all the green snarling aliens were armed. All of their guns were pointing at him.

"Who are you?" The Doctor asked defiantly.

"Weee are the guardianssss," They said as one.

"What is your name?"

One of the green aliens stepped forwards. "Weee are the Krykayle, they," he pointed to the shimmering, black shadows, "are Nightssstalkerssss."

Neither of the names meant anything to the Doctor.

One of the wafting Nightstalkers went to the Doctor, "You look human. You sssmell of human. I haven't tasssted human for yearsss…"

"Yea?" the Doctor managed to keep his voice steady, "Well I'm not human…"

"What are you then?"

"The Doctor." He drew himself up.

The creatures laughed together, and the Nightstalker reached up a hand to brush the Doctors face, almost mockingly. "You look like a similar species to the female we found."

The Doctor managed to keep his face from falling. So they'd found her. It was to be expected; but the Doctor wished they hadn't. Stupid STUPID Rose. She'd gone and got herself into a whole heap of trouble _again_.

"Where is she?"

The Nightstalker smiled and floated away, back to the group. Where their glinting eyes watched the Doctor's every move.

"WHERE IS SHE?!" he yelled.

The Krykayle spoke again, "You will follow usss. We are armed… I'd seriously advise you to take that into consssideration before you tttry anything."

"Where are you taking me?" The Doctor asked, warily, as they pulled him through the trees, winding and twisting and turning. Deeper and deeper.

"Too our massster." They chorused.

* * *

Rose groaned. She was lying on a cold, wooden floor. She opened her eyes in confusion. Why was she no longer in the forest? Then she realised – the Doctor. After all that. He'd come to find her and taken her to the TARDIS. She was incensed. Why couldn't he just leave her be? But as her eyes grew accustomed to the light, she realised that this wasn't the TARDIS. Where was the welcoming hum? And since when did the TARDIS have wooden floors?

She glanced up at the ceiling and gasped.

In bright red luminous letters, it said:

**WELCOME TO THE ROOM OF TERROR – YOUR FEAR, RIGHT HERE.**


	9. Fears & Fights

**A/N: I updated sooner than I thought… Yes… I am a sad loser who spends all day on the computer… But I want to get this story over and done with. It's been bugging me since July…**

**Chapter 9**

The Doctor was taken to a huge building sitting in the heart of the forest. I was gigantic, but seemed to be built so as not to be taller than the surrounding trees. He was escorted by the Krykayle, through the sliding doors, and was taken to the highest point of the building.

"We leave you here," one of the Krykayle said, as they stopped outside the door. "Our master waits for you," and with that, he pressed a button, sliding open the door.

"Come in, come in." boomed a voice.

The Doctor boldly walked through, the door sliding shut behind him with a barely audible hiss. His eyes widened. He seemed to be looking at an exceptionally large slug… he was about a head taller than the Doctor, who tried not to stare.

"I am Goar." The slug motioned for the Doctor to sight down, but the offer was politely declined.

Goar continued, "so… you're here to find your apprentice."

The Doctor nodded, "Yes I am. And I would quite like to find her alive… if it's all the same to you."

Goar sighed dramatically, "I'm afraid that won't be possible. She's currently being held in the Room Of Terror." His voice was almost apologetic.

"Which is…?" The Doctor breathed.

"Well." Goar began in an informative voice, "It is widely believed that flesh and meat is much more delicate and tastes better when it has been, to put it right, 'scared to death.'"

"What?" The Doctor trembled. "And… Rose?"

"Your apprentice?" he chuckled. "She'll receive the same treatment. We've scanned her brain waves, and, guess what her fear – her worst nightmare – is?"

The Doctor already knew.

"Drowning," Goar crooned.

"YOU CAN'T DO THAT!" He yelled.

"On the contrary," Goar's voice took on a deadly hiss, "I can. She strayed onto my land without permission, and must now pay the price. You will be spared – you were brought here under my jurisdiction. You will be escorted to the perimeter of the forest."

The Doctor just gaped. That was it… Rose was going to die. They were going to kill his Rose. All because of him. That single thought kept crashing down on him as he struggled to contain his fury.

"I'll make my own way out," he snarled. Though he had no intention of doing so – not without Rose.

"I'm afraid that won't be possible," Goar replied in a clipped voice.

"TOUGH!" the Doctor roared, "I'M GETTING OUT OF HERE. FINDING ROSE. AND THEN WE'RE LEAVING!"

The slug looked at him calmly. "And how will you do that? We are in a windowless room, the only door is locked from the outside, and neither of us is armed."

The Doctor brandished his sonic screwdriver, "Where's the room of terror?"

"Why would I tell you that?"

"Because," the Doctor growled, "I can be very dangerous when I'm angry – and right now, I'm beyond anger."

Goar laughed, "Well, you're escorts are about 5 seconds away – if you're going to do your worst, you'd better hurry up." He scoffed.

The Doctor had no time to do Goar any bodily harm, as much as he wished to, and he pointed the sonic screwdriver at the door, blasting it open. Unfortunately, the escorts had just reached the door at that point, and had got hit as it flew across the hall, slamming them all against the wall.

* * *

Rose surveyed the room, looking for a way out. It was a simple room – square shaped, about five metres by five, and three metres high. It had a sink, a stained, cracked mirror, and, bizarrely, instead of a fourth wall, there was just a sheet of glass. Rose could see clearly into the hallway outside. It seemed to be deserted.

She sighed. If there was any way to get out of this room, the glass would probably be the easiest.

She banged on it. It barely rattled. She pushed on it as hard as she could. Nothing. She kicked it with all the strength she could muster, and groaned as pain seared up her leg. She didn't even crack it.

She cursed herself, knowing that she'd have to get out of here unaided – the Doctor wasn't coming for her. Oh she'd been such an idiot. He'd _warned_ her that this would happen.

She sat on the floor, contemplating how she was supposed to get out, and just how stupid she'd been.

Then she heard it.

The kind of noise water makes as it gushes.

She looked behind her at the tap. It was off.

She sat there, puzzled for a moment. Then she felt water seeping through her jeans. She sprang up. Water was spurting out of the cracks in-between the walls and the floor!

She stood there frozen. Just what the hell was happening? Then it clicked –

**YOUR FEAR, RIGHT HERE**

And she realised what her fate was to be. She began to scream, rushing to the glass and pounding on it desperately. The water had just passed over her ankles, and was rising quickly.

* * *

The Doctor hurtled down deserted corridors, desperately looking for anything to point him to the Room Of Terror. He noticed a sign to his right, reading 'Surveillance Room,' and he peered through the glass door.

A small blue creature was studying the video screens. It looked like live camera feed from all over the building. One was labeled 'Room Of Terror,' and he gazed at the screen. Rose was in the room… With water up to her knees. Her mouth was wide open, and the Doctor knew, had there been any sound, he would've heard her screams. She was kicking and pounding on what seemed to be a glass wall. He slid open the door, and pressed his sonic screwdriver to the blue creature's head before it could react.

He knew that his screwdriver wouldn't hurt it in any way; but the creature didn't know that. The Doctor felt it tremble beneath him, and felt disgusted with himself.

"Where's the Room Of Terror?" he spat.

"P-p-please don't hurt me… I'm just d-doing my job…"

"I won't hurt you! Just tell me where it is!!!"

The creature thought to himself – he could lose his job for this… But it was either his job or his life. He chose the former.

"B-basement. Level… umm"

The Doctor jabbed the sonic screwdriver harder into him.

"Level 3… f-f-far right-t."

"And what floor is this?" he snapped.

"Uh.. Thirteenth."

It gasped in relief as the Doctor dropped his hand and ran out of the room.

* * *

By now, the water was up to her neck, and she could barely stand on the floor. "Oh what have I done?" she cried to herself. The Doctor was miles away. He could even be on another planet by now – now that she'd told him to leave her alone.

Panic swirled through her. Black and overpowering as it clenched at her heart.

She fought it – if she stayed calm, then she may have a better chance.

No use. It overcame her, filling her with sheer terror. She went insane, beating at the walls, thrashing against the glass. Her feet were lifted off the ground as she floated in the water.

She tried to remember her lessons with the Doctor, and desperately pushed her feet up to float on her back; her brain desperately trying to come up with any means of escape.

She wondered if there was a weak spot where the water was coming through to the room. It was risky, but she was willing to give anything a try.

She took a deep breath, and dove under the water.

She was not a strong swimmer, having had only a few weeks of lessons. And she struggled down to the bottom – wasting most of her breath on the way. She reached the small gap, and pushed; bubbles exploding from her mouth. She kicked it in desperation. Nothing happened.

Her lungs screamed for air, and she shot to the surface, gasping.

The water was inches away from the ceiling now, and Rose had to press her head sideways to reach the precious oxygen.

She was totally helpless, and this time, the Doctor wasn't coming to save her. She'd thrown his concern for her right back in his face – abolishing any feelings he may've still harboured for her… If he'd even had any feelings for her at all after kissing Lyrin.

The sheer knowledge that the Doctor no longer loved her took all the fight out of her. What was the point in trying to survive, when the one man she would've died for, the one man who gave her the essence of life, no longer loved her?

She let out a long desolate cry of anguish and longing.

She accepted her fate silently. She didn't scream, she didn't cry out, she didn't thrash her arms and legs. She didn't even take a breath before she was pinned under the water – extra air would just prolong death, and cause her more pain.

She hoped, in death, she wouldn't feel misery… She would accept death gratefully.

_Oh Doctor,_ she thought to herself as she began to sink, _Why did it come to this? _A single bubble slipped out of her mouth.. There were none left. _I love you, my Doctor._

She sank into blackness.

Her captors would not get their wish. Rose would not die from drowning; her worst fear.. Her worst nightmare.

She would die from her broken shattered heart.

Her eyes closed, and, with all the air in her lungs gone, she sank to the bottom…

The single tear she shed, lost in the water.


	10. No Time

**A/N: Almost done!!! Two chapters to go... Thanks for all the reviews by the way - really appreciate it :D**

* * *

**Chapter 10**

The Doctor hurtled down the stairs, three at a time. He knew that if he fell, he'd definitely break something; but time was of the essence. Every second counted.

He passed a sign saying '2nd floor,' and cursed. Five floors to go.

Rose smiled. A peaceful, serene smile. And she faded away…

The Doctor smashed into the door leading through to the third level basement, yelling as he tried to bash it open. He remembered his sonic screwdriver, and delved into his pocket. He fired it at the door - which immediately gave way - and he rushed through it.

He crashed through a group of, what looked like, chefs, and roared. "The Room Of Terror! Where?!" He had gone past the stage of being able to form full sentences as his chest heaved for breath.

They were so terrified of this strange man, screaming and yelling at them, that they quickly pointed to the end of the corridor.

"Right at the end," one said timidly.

The Doctor bowled over the rest of them as he dashed to the end of the corridor, skidding right and running down the full length of the hallway.

There was a single door at the end, labeled 'Viewing Room.' He went through it cautiously, and came face to face with the wall of glass he'd seen earlier… Except now, the room on the other side was filled up to the ceiling with water.

"Rose," he whispered, seeing her body suspended vertically, her hair fanning around her, and her face pale and tinged with blue. She looked, for all the world, like a ghost. He pressed his palms against the glass. She wasn't breathing. "Oh Rose," tears sprang to his eyes.

He took his sonic screwdriver out. He knew it was too late. She was dead. But he needed to hold her again. To know that there was no hope. He pointed it to the glass – which shattered instantly.

The water gushed out, bringing Rose with it. She came to rest at his feet, cuts all over her from the broken glass. He knelt beside her, "No Rose – you're not dead. No.. please.. You can't do this to me… You can't:- " Tears dribbled down his cheeks as he stroked her face. Thick black agony swirled through him.

She was gone.

And he was lost without her.

He sobbed as he remembered his last words to her. "_Don't expect me to come running to your rescue."_

* * *

He groaned with utter desperation. She'd died alone. Believing he'd never come for her. Believing he no longer cared for her.

"Oh Rose, oh Rose." He muttered her name over and over as he cradled her head. He felt a flutter beneath his hand, and vaguely wondered what it was… Why did he even care what it was?

He felt it a few seconds later, and looked where his hand was resting on her neck. He narrowed his eyes, and gently rested a finger on it. He barely dared to let himself hope.

There it was again – faint, and merely a shadow of a pulse… But a pulse nevertheless.

Inside, he was screaming – there may still be hope.

_Quick! _He yelled in panic to the TARDIS, _Tell Lyrin to get you to the ground floor. Wait outside for me._

He knew that Lyrin would never be able to land the TARDIS inside the building, and prayed that he'd be able to get outside.

He'd have to hurry.

He picked Rose up in his arms, and ran as fast as he could, trying to work out how to get out without being stopped.

* * *

Why was there no one here? That puzzled him. Surely there'd be guards sent after him – Goar knew where he'd gone… His question was soon answered as he got halfway down the ground floor corridor…

He was almost out, when a mass of guards jumped out from doors, under desks, and from behind cabinets. All armed. All aiming their weapons at him.

They surrounded him. He froze.

There was no way he'd get past that many… He fell to his knees in helplessness. Rose would die – he'd failed her. Again.

"I'm so sorry," he murmured in her ear, hating himself with his whole heart as he bent his head over hers and submitted himself to the guards.

They wordlessly came closer, faces drawn with anger…

But then the entrance door smashed open, the TARDIS blasting through it.

The Doctor had no time to be surprised, and, using the fact that the guards were sufficiently distracted – what with all the general confusion, and random shots being fired in all directions – to his advantage, he half-dragged half-carried Rose down the hall – which was fast becoming a war zone.

He managed to get to the TARDIS doors, and was just opening them when one of the charges from a soldier's gun found its mark, and sank into his arm. He cried out in pain and almost dropped Rose. He frantically kicked at the door, yelling for Lyrin to open it – his right arm hanging limply at his side, while his left was using all its strength to hold Rose.

Lyrin threw open the door and tugged them both inside, slamming the doors behind them. "Never do that to me again," she screamed, "I thought you were going to d:- " she stopped mid-sentence as she noticed Rose… Not breathing… "Oh Gods," she whispered.

"Please," the Doctor tried to suppress a groan of pain, "Help me get her to the infirmary." Lyrin was at Rose's side in an instant, and helped pick her up. They rushed to the infirmary, the TARDIS twisting and turning her labyrinth of corridors to make the journey quicker. They practically threw her into bed, attaching all sorts of machines to her to check her heart, pulse, and brain activity. The Doctor put an oxygen mask over her head in a vain hope to revive her – but her pulse didn't change… It was still weak and irregular.

* * *

The Doctor knew there was nothing else he could do. He and the TARDIS had worked tirelessly to the best of their ability – it was all up to Rose now. He knew that a lot of her recovery relied on her willpower – she'd been angry at him, and had sank believing him to have abandoned her.

If she wanted to die, then he wouldn't be able to prevent it. He sat there, desperately stroking her hand, as though by stroking it, he could somehow give her life.

"Let me see your arm."

The Doctor jumped – he'd almost forgotten about Lyrin. He wordlessly held out his arm to her, not taking his eyes off Rose, while Lyrin wrapped it with sodden bandaged.

"I've soaked them in a lotion. It might help," she mumbled, not wanting to break the silence. She knew the Doctor would want to be alone, so left him.

The door shut behind her as the Doctor let out a heavy sob.

"Oh Rose. You can't do this to me. I need you… You were everything to me. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He repeated it over and over again; tears streaming silently down his face. He squeezed her hand.

Rose lay motionless.

He bit his bottom lip to try to dam the flow of tears.


	11. Too Late She's Gone

**A/N: Almost done... Just one more chapter after this :D... It's a bit of a cliffhanger; so i apologise (whilst cackling of course :P)**

******

* * *

**

**Chapter 11**

During the next few days, the Doctor didn't leave her side. Rose's state didn't change as she balanced on the brink between life and death.

Sometimes Lyrin would join him and try to comfort him. Occasionally he would talk to her – but most of the time he would just sit there in silence.

He looked ill.

He hadn't eaten.

He hadn't slept.

And he hadn't drunk anything in days.

Lyrin had brought him mugs of tea, which he'd thanked her for, but never touched.

She was desperately worried for him, and knew it was her fault.

"I just… She's going to die thinking I don't love her." He whispered partly to himself, and partly to Lyrin. "She's dying… She's dying believing I never cared… That I just left her. And I did… I did…" He broke down.

Nothing Lyrin said could comfort him from those thoughts – for they were true, and Rose was dying believing the Doctor didn't love her… Believing he'd left her…

* * *

It was on the fourth day when Lyrin knew that Rose wasn't going to survive. Her pulse had weakened and could barely be felt, and her heart rate had slowed down considerably.

A thought occurred to her. "Can you not go into her mind? Can you not just… Tell her you love her?" She suggested hopefully.

But the Doctor shook his head. He'd already considered that idea long ago. "She's too fragile. There is every chance that I'd over-exert her. The shock to her system would kill her."

"Doctor," Lyrin said firmly, "this is your last chance to help her – she will die if you don't save her." She knew her words were harsh, but she knew the Doctor had to do this… And for the first time since entering the infirmary, he looked at her.

She was struck by his eyes. His lifeless brown eyes. All that well-known spark and energy had disappeared.

"It's too dangerous," he whimpered.

"It's a risk you have to take." Then she whispered, "Rose will be dead by tomorrow if you don't do this."

The Doctor choked through his tears, "I know."

"Then do it."

The Doctor looked at her and saw the pity in her eyes. He saw how much she wanted to help, and how guilty she felt.

He looked at Rose, and knew Lyrin was right. Rose was fading fast… But he couldn't… He didn't want to be the one to kill her – he'd already been responsible for this whole situation and didn't want to make it worse.

He trembled… What should he do?

The TARDIS slid into his mind. She didn't say anything, but surrounded him with a low hum. It was mournful, and full of sorrow, but seemed to lift him and give him courage. _Ok. _He murmured to her… _I'll do it._

And, taking a deep breath to try to calm himself, he gently slipped into her mind…

* * *

At once he was overcome by the emptiness of it. How different it was to the last time he'd seen it.

There was nothing there except for a few small patches of despair – but apart from that… nothing.

No love. No hope. No happiness. No anger… Nothing.

'_I did this' _the Doctor thought to himself, dumbstruck. _'This is my fault.'_

Her mind was broken.

Oh Rose…

He didn't know what to do. How could he tell her he loved her?

He whispered in her mind. _'Oh Rose, I'm so sorry. For everything. You can't die. What will I do? Please. I love you to much for you to do this to me. I don't know if u can hear me Rose. But I love you. More than anything… I would give my life for yours if I knew how… I would take your suffering and go through it myself a thousand times over if I could.'_

And he let is love flow into her mind. He showed her his love for her; his care; his worry. He tried not to put too much pressure on her – but there was so much love. He let her feel it for a while, then slowly withdrew the passionate tendrils that threatened to overpower her weak state of mind.

'_Did you feel that Rose? That's why you can't die'_

Then he let in some of his hope. He let it trickle through the edges of her soul. It seeped everywhere; filling everything with it's brilliant golden light.

'_Use this… It's the last thing I can do. Use it Rose. For me. Do this for me Rose.'_

And he faded away from her; gradually releasing her mind.

Fe felt himself in his own body, and gasped for breath.

"What happened," Lyrin asked gently.

"I did everything I could – she needs to decide what happens now." He looked at Rose, and Lyrin left him to his own thoughts.

Rose had been weakening. She could barely feel it, but knew she was dying. And she was glad. She was in no pain, and had no concept of time. She knew the end was near, and if she could've, she would've smiled.

She wasn't afraid. Only happy. There was no suffering in death. The Doctor couldn't hurt her anymore.

Her thoughts went to the Doctor, and a wave of sadness blossomed over her; weakening her grip on life even more. She tried to stop thinking of him – knowing it would speed up death. She wondered why she was clinging to life – she wanted nothing more than to die… She couldn't explain her resistance… Ah well… She'd always been complicated.

Her mind blanked as her thoughts turned to nothing. She slowly slipped back.

But then she felt something.

* * *

A voice.

Where was it coming from?

'_Oh Rose'_

She couldn't _hear_ it, as such – more like… she _felt_ what was being said.

In her fragile state, she recognised the Doctor's presence. She couldn't see him – just feel his words to her. She stilled, her mind straining to detect his voice. Her last reserves of strength were slowly ebbing away, but she caught his words. They were faint and hazy, as though coming from a great distance.

'_I'm so sorry. For everything. You can't die. What will I do? Please. I love you to much for you to do this to me. I don't know if u can hear me Rose. But I love you. More than anything…'_

Rose heard no more – his words struck home.

He loved her.

She desperately tried to reply. But she was too weak. Her body couldn't obey her as she tried to answer him.

Her breath hitched in her throat, and she knew she was too close to death to stop it.

It was too late.

There was nothing left in her.

She felt helpless, and knew there was no hope of survival.

Then she felt something wash over her. She struggled to understand what it was. It was an emotion; but not her own. It felt like the Doctor… It surrounded her. She felt its awesome power, and knew it to be his love.

Had she been able to, she would've cried. He loved her, and she was letting him down.

The love was pressing into her; its pressure almost suffocating her.

But then she felt it drift away, and knew this was the end. She was going.

Then she felt him again.

'_Did you feel that Rose?'_

Her heart ached to reply.

'_That's why you can't die'_

But she _was_ dying.

She didn't have any strength left, and was letting go.

But then she felt something else. A goldenness washed over her. It was soothing; almost healing. She felt his hope, and knew it was her last chance.

'_Use this… It's the last thing I can do. Use it Rose. For me. Do this for me Rose.'_

She felt him leave, but she held on to his hope. She fed of it; his hope giving her hope. She used all her will not to drift away. She gripped the edge of life, grimly hanging on. She whimpered inside as pain shot through her, and exhaustion crashed upon her. But the hope was there; protecting her and giving her strength. She was heaving herself over the edge. She didn't know how she was doing it; she ached with fatigue. The only thing that kept her going was his steady hope, enveloping her with its comforting coolness.

With one last desperate burst of energy, she heaved herself up and crawled above the edge.

She collapsed, feeling weak, and juddering violently.

But she'd done it.

Her heart trembled feebly, totally spent.

The Doctor noticed Rose go incredibly pale. She'd quivered and shaken. The Doctor watched, not faring to speak as Rose shuddered.

Then she stilled.

He froze.

No… NO. It couldn't be…

She'd gone.

The knowledge tore through him as agony ripped through his soul. But before he could utter a sound, he heard it.


	12. Lost Angels & Half Remembered Songs

**A/N: Well this is it. The last chapter. The home stretch! The finale. The home run... Ok enough... **

**I'd like to thank you all for your reviews, they've been most helpful, and have managed to make me persevere at this whole task of writing this up. I can finally throw away all the weird little scraps of paper with ideas scribbled all over them, AWAY!**

**I hope you enjoyed reading it, and I hope you will enjoy reading this last chapter. It's certainly been... fun... Not copying it up onto the computer; but writing it :D... Does anyone actually read this drivel? I can never imagine people reading author's notes... so on with the story... The last story... the home stretch...the:- Ok, i'm stopping now...**

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**Chapter 12**

Blip…

He spun around. He could barely see; his eyes clouded with tears. He stared at the heart monitor.

Blip…

Blip…

But that wasn't possible.

The Doctor stared at the monitor, and then at Rose. There was a tinge of colour in her cheeks.

He could scarcely believe it. In fact – he _couldn't_ believe it. There was no way that could've happened. She'd died. He was so sure she'd died… And yet…

Blip…

He jumped up and frantically stroked her face, "C'mon Rose. You're doing it. Just hang on. Don't let go," he practically screamed at her, his voice shaking with emotion as he trailed a finger down her chin.

The heart monitor was showing that her heart rate was weak; but stable. "Oh thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much." He didn't know who he was thanking – but he was almost speechless with gratitude.

Rose was recovering, and he would wait there as long as it took.

* * *

Lyrin walked in with another mug of tea, and upon seeing his face, knew it was good news. He looked drained of energy, but totally over the moon. She handed him a mug of tea, and this time, he took it and sipped at it.

It was the first thing he'd had in 4 days, and he sighed with pleasure as its sugary warmth seeped through him.

Lyrin smiled, "She's improving?"

It was more of a statement than a question, but the Doctor nodded his head. Lyrin sat there with him, and they both watched Rose with silent respect and awe at her persistent fortitude.

Lyrin was happy. She was incredibly glad Rose was recovering – as though a great weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She felt guilty, yes, but not as intensely as she had before. She thought it would be best if she left the Doctor on his own – he would want to have privacy when Rose awoke.

The Doctor didn't take his eyes off Rose throughout the night. At around 1am the next morning, she stirred. The Doctor was there in an instant, and sat on the seat by her side.

"Rose?"

Her eyes opened blearily, and met his own dark brown ones. She smiled weakly. The Doctor barely managed to stop himself from squeezing her into a hug – he knew she was still tired.

He squeezed her hand instead.

She looked up at him with her big innocent eyes and he broke down, sobbing uncontrollably into her shoulder.

Rose was startled, "Doctor… It's Ok… I'm fine.. Please… Don't cry," she gingerly patted his back.

"Rose," he cried, muffled somewhat by her shoulder, "I thought you were dead. I just… I didn't know what to do… It was so…"

"Shh." Rose hushed, "It's ok. I'm fine."

He gave in to temptation, and wrapped his arms around her, squeezing her to his chest. His weight was half on her, half on the bed, but she didn't care. She was too happy to see him.

"Oh Rose. Never do that to me again," he said, letting go of her and looking at her sternly.

She grinned. She knew the Doctor wasn't mad – he'd just been worried out of his mind. "I'll try."

He smiled, but his eyes showed that his thoughts were elsewhere… She could've died… She almost _did_ die.

"Doctor?"

"Mmm?" he snapped out of his reverie.

She laughed at his dazed expression, "Would it be possible to have something to drink? I'm really thirsty."

He snapped to his feet. He'd forgotten that she'd been here for almost five days with no food or drink.

"Of course!" he flapped his arms in panic, and ran out to the kitchen. Rose snorted with amusement, letting her head flop back on the pillow and yawning. She drifted off peacefully into sleep.

* * *

The Doctor walked in with a huge mug of hot chocolate, and a whole packet of cookies – nothing like sugar to restore energy!

He'd seen her on the bed, eyes closed, and had started. But then he realised she was sleeping. He felt like slapping himself. He'd have to get a grip…

But that image of Rose limply suspended in the huge water tank… Her hair fanning grotesquely around her…

He shuddered, putting the mug and cookies on the bedside table.

He almost stopped himself from waking her – she looked so tranquil.

He gently nudged her.

"Hmm?" she mumbled as her eyes opened.

"Your drink…" he handed her the mug.

"Oh, thanks." She struggled to sit up, and took it, letting the hot liquid trickle down her throat.

He sat on the edge of her bed, content to just watch her drink. He smirked slightly as she dipped her cookies into it.

She soon finished, and yawned again, sighing as she lay down. The Doctor couldn't resist, and slipped into the tiny single bed with her – he wanted to be near her. To feel her warm body next to his… To remind himself she was alive.

She smiled happily and stretched her legs.

"I'm sorry Rose…" his eyes almost pleaded with her as he looked into hers.

She looked at him questioningly.

"For… Before… With Lyrin…" he hesitated as he saw pain flicker behind her eyes.

But she understood. "It's ok. I believe you.. It… It wasn't your fault."

He breathed in a sharp sigh of relief, the corners of his mouth twitching into a smile. "You know I love you too much to do that don't you? I'll never stop loving you."

"I know."

"But you gave up…" he frowned as he remembered when that shocking realisation had dawned on him. "You almost died Rose… You gave up."

"You said you didn't care about me… You weren't going to come…" Her mouth quivered – she was on the verge of tears.

"I know," he half whispered, his voice full of self-loathing and regret. "It was my fault. I almost lost you…. I thought I had lost you. You almost died because of me."

"But you saved me…" tears fell down her face, but her voice rang with the pride that the Doctor felt he didn't deserve. "I felt you. You were inside my head. You saved me. If you hadn't done that, then…" she shuddered.

Tears streamed down his face – he couldn't help but think about what could've happened. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to him. Their faces pressed together as he enfolded her in his arms, their legs entwining with one another… Their tears mingling.

He kissed her gently on the lips. She smiled at him, letting out an embarrassed yawn.

"Sleep," he ordered.

She happily complied, and nuzzled her nose into his neck, kissing it as she did so. Her arms was sprawled across his chest, her forefinger gently resting on his neck; feeling the rhythmic pulse of his two hearts. Her other arm was between both their bodies, her hand clutching at his.

* * *

He absently stroked the hand with his thumb as he lay there on his back, contemplating, as he closed his eyes, just how lucky he really was. He wondered if next time… She might not make it…

He turned to gaze at her, and lifted the hand that wasn't holding Rose's, to gently stroke her hair. Her face was calm and serene – looking for all the world as though it belonged to an angel that had lost its way to heaven.

And with that thought, a half-forgotten song came to memory. Rose was forever listening to that stupid radio of hers… He had never really liked Earth music… Ape music… But he'd liked that song that he'd heard her singing (albeit badly) to.

He whispered in her ear, his breath tickling the tiny receptive hairs on her neck.

"You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be."

* * *

**A/N: Well there you go, that's it... I managed to do that in a freezing pitch black tent, on my own, in North Wales... No offence to the North Welsh, but your weather... g'darn it... I missed the scorching weather in London, and instead got the ehem 'lovely' rain of Wales...**

**I hope none of you readers hate me too much for fluffing the ending... I'd just rewatched Doomsday (for the 18th time... succesfully memorized the words:D) and needed to cheer myself up.**

**So, thanks guys... oh, and a nice review will certainly be good persuasion for getting me to write more fics... I am deciding whether to do a sequel... But I'm not entirely sure yet.**

**Thanks.**

**:D**


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